Not every woman will have difficulties with menopause. For some, it comes and goes with little disruption, while for others, it can feel like an emotional and physical rollercoaster. If you’re experiencing symptoms such as mood swings, joint pain, brain fog, sleep disturbances, or anxiety, you’re not alone.

The good news? Here is an extensive list of best self-care tips for perimenopause to support your body and mind through the transition. From healthy lifestyle and movement to rest, self-compassion and emotional wellbeing, small changes can make a big difference. This blog explores what has helped me personally, as well as tips that many women will find useful. Take what resonates with you and leave the rest, because every journey through menopause is unique.

Exercise and movement: however much or little that you can do is great for lifting your mood, but also it can help ease joint pain and stiffness.  It can also help maintain your heart and keep bones stronger too.  It’s really helpful to find an exercise you enjoy, perhaps a group activity that’s good for your soul too.  Recognise that you might not be able to do some of the exercises you did before so well, or at all.  I have moved away from running, still enjoy cycling, but recognise it is important for me to focus on weight bearing activities too now, not just cardiovascular.  See the section on active physical rest below.

Healthy eating: altering your diet so that it is balanced, so includes plenty of fruit, vegetables, whole grains and good sources of protein will make a big difference.  Incorporating a nutrient-rich diet during menopause is crucial for supporting brain health.

Be wary of supplements that call out being menopause friendly, and instead do your research and ask your GP for advice on the type of supplement that helps women into perimenopause.  Vitamin B (in particular B12) and D, magnesium, and antioxidants like vitamin C or E are known to have positive effects on cognitive function.  I personally have found vitamin D spray helpful for mood in the Winter months (and hopefully bone strength but I have no way of knowing), and magnesium supplements for sleep and joint pain.  There are so many natural remedies to try out, just be wary of those branded as “meno friendly”.

Drink water: dehydration can affect cognitive function and mood, so it’s particularly important to stay well-hydrated during menopause. Drink plenty of water throughout the day to support brain health and overall hydration levels. I personally have given up caffeinated drinks and drastically reduced my alcohol intake.  I had noticed that both were exacerbating feelings of anxiousness, so with a reduction, I was, and still do, feel less anxious.  

Talking: talk, talk, talk to your friends, to your family, to women of similar age to yourself and stay connected.  Tell everyone what you’re going through – you’re not guilty, you’re going through a massive life change, so tell your employer, your partner, your kids, your parents.

Fact finding is so important and so is talking about how you are feeling.  Shared experiences can validate, put your mind at rest, help you come to conclusions and make decisions.  Counselling helped me personally, to accept that my symptoms were likely perimenopause and to get in touch with my local GP.  I also joined group sessions through work and learnt of others experiences that helped empower me to take steps forward.

Resting: there are many types of rest, find those that work for you by trying them out.

• Physical rest

• • • Passive – activities requiring little or no movement e.g. sleeping, lying down, or deep breathing exercises.  These allow your muscles and nervous system to fully relax and for energy levels to restore.
    • Active – this means gentle movement to relieve tension and improve circulation e.g. stretching, yoga, walking or massage.  Unlike intense exercise, active rest is restorative and supports overall physical wellbeing without placing strain on the body.

• Mental rest – 10 minute breaks, having a cuppa, and looking out the window (not your phone!) is a really important way of looking after ourselves and coping with daily stress.  Set an alarm to take those 10 minute breaks.

• Sensory rest – unplug from technology and social media for decent periods ie an hour at a time as a minimum.  Draw boundaries with work, make it clear that you will not be reading emails outside of working hours.  Identify ways that you can switch off at the end of your working day.

• Creative rest – what did you enjoy doing as a child, that you could emulate now?  Allow yourself to be playful and connect with something that you find restful.  Maybe adult colouring books?  Painting?  I have got back into cross stitch and embroidery that I enjoyed as a child, I find it so calming and easy on my mind.

• Compassionate/spiritual rest – this one may take some time to get into, but give it a try.  Finding ways to be compassionate with ourselves isn’t selfish, it allows us to accept ourselves for who we are, or who we are becoming through the changes we are undergoing.  Exploring new hobbies, taking the breaks that you need…I have found mindfulness apps really helpful.  Insight Timer is a free app with so many resources to listen to in support of finding more compassion towards yourself.

• Social rest – this might mean spending more time with those people that energise you, or it might mean the opposite for you.  Needing more quiet time than you used to.  To be mindful of the stress and anxiety that perimenopause can cause, and whilst it can be tempting to isolate yourself, connection might be just what you need!  Experiment and notice what makes you feel different.

• Emotional rest – expressing your feelings as honestly and openly as you can.  Good friends may be able to listen non-judgmentally.  Finding a good listening ear to truly express everything that you are feeling can provide relief.  Of course, this is where counselling can really be beneficial too.

Educate yourself: knowledge is empowering, giving you the information to tell your GP how you are really feeling, giving you the information to make the right changes to your lifestyle that are right for you.  There are some suggested easy access resources at the end of this blog.

Seek professional medical help: go to your GP and be assertive about the symptoms you are experiencing.  Question antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications if these are offered.  Ask for blood tests, and remember one test is not conclusive, as our hormones fluctuate throughout the month.  It is easier to be prescribed HRT from 45 and over, but don’t let this put you off.  You know your body and with all the knowledge you are gaining from blogs like this and additional resources, you can assert yourself more easily.

HRT is effective in alleviating symptoms by replenishing declining hormone levels.  There are body identical oestrogen options available if this worries you.  It’s essential to discuss the benefits and risks with a healthcare provider. 

Practice Self-Care: this isn’t selfish, remember the oxygen mask demonstration when you are flying?  If you are unable to breathe/function properly yourself, how can you be there for others?  Self-care means focusing on activities that bring you joy and pleasure.  Prioritise self-care practices like relaxation, exercise, and healthy eating, and seek support from loved ones or mental health professionals when needed – this is also self-care!

Be self-compassionate: I’ve put towards the end, and yet it is probably the most important way of being and likely to change, that you can do for yourself.  So, why last?  Well, I know us ladies often find it the hardest one to do!  The symptoms of menopause are not easy to grapple with.  Not only does our body undergo big changes, but our appearance can also change, our moods are swinging, we are entering a new phase of life (and purpose), and all of this can really mess with your identity.  Being gentle with ourselves, talking to ourselves like we would a friend, really can make a difference, starting with forgiving yourself. This is not you; it’s not your fault. You didn’t ask for this, and you certainly don’t deserve it.

How can therapy help?

Perimenopause and menopause can trigger a profound questioning of yourself and who you are.  Many elements of your life, that once were central to it, might no longer seem important, or possible.  Literally, too, your body is changing.  Remember the angst as a teenager?  Why would this be any different?  It can be messy, full of highs and lows – sorry to forewarn you.

Acknowledging how all these make us feel, in our body and mind, can be so helpful.  Therapy is that safe space to do that, if you want a non-judgemental, listening ear, facilitating the process and helping you to make sense of the deeper questions that might emerge.

Working through what is going on for you, is an individual process, none more so than because although the menopause has common symptoms, it is still your unique process.

• You might be a new mother or dealing with teenagers. You might even have adult children who bring their own worries?
• You might never have children, and the realisation is dawning that this might now never happen?
• It might be a pivotal time in your career, and are you still on top of your game?
• What are your financial commitments and how have they changed?
• What about your own parents, are they still here?  Are they able?  Have you noticed that they are getting older and have different needs, and might be needing to lean on you more?
• What about your relationship? Has it changed over the years, and now you are changing too? Perhaps you are single?  Or feel like you want to be single?  What are the stresses around your relationship and are you starting to question it? 
• How’s your sex life? Good? Stressful? Do you experience vaginal dryness? Lacking in desire? This may all put added pressures on us.
• What do I want from life? What have I achieved? Is it what I expected and what I am happy with? Is it too late to do something different?

Is there hope?

Yes!

Menopause can present you with gifts too.  Many people (myself included) have been able to re-shape their lives into a more meaningful one.  I see so many women grow in wisdom and flourish in ways that previously might not have been possible.  While the years manifest in the body they can also manifest in experience and wisdom.  It is a bumpy ride though, and asking for help and reading up to educate yourself are a must. 

See my blog Recognising the many symptoms of perimenopause and my story for more information and support. 

Useful resources

Websites and podcasts

Menopause Natters podcast – https://open.spotify.com/show/7jGrQ90iGo2IiTYpULNhzD?si=23ec5588317d4189

Dr Louise Newson podcast – https://open.spotify.com/show/7dCctfyI9bODGDaFnjfKhg

Menopause Care (by Dr Naomi Potter) – https://www.menopausecare.co.uk/blog

My Menopause Centre – https://www.mymenopausecentre.com/our-purpose/

Menopause Doctor and the Balance app (by Dr Louise Newson) – https://www.menopausedoctor.co.uk

Resources shared by psychotherapist and campaigner, Diane Danzebrink – https://menopausesupport.co.uk/

Black, gender inclusive podcast on menopause – https://blackgirlsguidetosurvivingmenopause.com/

Dietary advice – https://lizearlewellbeing.com/healthy-food/healthy-menopause-foods/

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